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- 1 How to Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence
How to Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence
The majority of us value interpersonal connections, particularly in romantic partnerships. In truth, our desire for connection is innate, and it is what enables us to develop closeness and intimacy with our partners. The strength of our emotional connection to one another has a significant impact on the success of long-term relationships.
A fantastic, close, lifelong relationship with our most important individual comes to mind when we think of our ideal relationships. How do we create that kind of connection? That warm, secure, long-lasting relationship with someone we can trust to have our back for the long term? a connection where we are free to be who we are, where we are encouraged to grow, and where we can be flexible with one another?
Understanding the distinction between dependency and codependence is one of the essential components How to Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence.
What Is Interdependence?
Interdependence (or interdependency) refers to the idea that partners acknowledge and cherish the emotional connection they have while preserving a strong sense of self within the context of the partnership.
Being reliant on someone else may sound dangerous or harmful. Growing up, we are frequently taught to place an exaggerated value on independence, the ability to be fairly self-contained, and the importance of not need the emotional support of others.
Even though independence is a good quality, when it becomes excessive, it can actually hinder our ability to emotionally engage with others in a meaningful way. For those who have a strong feeling of independence, emotional intimacy with a spouse might be challenging, even frightening, or not perceived as particularly valuable in a relationship.
A person who is interdependent understands the need of being able to confide in their partner in meaningful ways to foster emotional connection. Additionally, they cherish a strong sense of self that enables them and their spouse to be themselves without having to compromise who they are or what they believe in.
Interdependence Is Not Codependence
Codependence and interdependence are not the same thing. An individual who is codependent frequently depends on others for their feeling of self and wellbeing. There is a tangled sense of obligation to another person to meet their needs and/or for their partner to fulfil all of their requirements in order for them to feel good about who they are. This individual is unable to tell where they stop and their relationship begins.
Codependent relationships have characteristics like:
- Bad or no boundaries
- Person-pleasing actions
- Poor, inefficient communication
- Having trouble being emotionally intimate
- Regulating habits
- Low self-esteem of one or both partners, blaming one another
- No personal objectives or interests separate from the connection
Codependent relationships are unhealthy because they deny people the space they need to express who they are, grow, and be independent. For their sense of self, emotions of worthiness, and overall emotional health, one or both parties in these dysfunctional relationships significantly rely on the other and the relationship. When a relationship is not working out, one or both partners frequently experience feelings of guilt and humiliation.
[Codependency involves] a person who has lost their fundamental sense of self, causing them to base their thoughts and actions on someone or something outside of themselves, such as another person, a substance, or an activity like sex or gambling.
— DARLENE LANCER, JD, LMFT
Why Interdependence Is Healthy for a Relationship
In a relationship, interdependence is striking a balance between oneself and others, acknowledging that both partners are striving to be present and attend to each other’s physical and emotional needs in ways that are appropriate and significant.
Couples don’t place unreasonable demands on one another or depend on one another to feel worthy. Interdependence allows each partner the opportunity to make these choices without worrying about what would happen in the relationship. It also gives each partner the room to keep a sense of self.
Characteristics of an Interdependent Relationship
A good interdependent connection has a number of characteristics. Here are a few characteristics of healthy, non-codependent relationships.
- Suitable bounds
- Active hearing
- Personal interests have time
- Clearly expressed words
- Accepting accountability for actions
- Establishing a secure space for each other’s vulnerability
- Mutual interaction and response Positive self-esteem
- Being friendly and forthcoming with one another
Relationships become safe havens where partners can rely on one another when they feel appreciated and respected.
How to Build an Interdependent Relationship
The secret to creating an interdependent relationship is to start out with awareness of who you are. Without giving any thought to who they are, what they value, or their relationship goals, many people seek out or commit to relationships simply to stop feeling lonely.
By setting aside some time for this kind of introspection, you can begin a new relationship with the kind of self-awareness that is essential for building an interdependent partnership How to Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence.
According to Sharon Martin, LCSW, a licenced psychotherapist, it’s critical to preserve your sense of self in your close relationships. She offers the following suggestions for preserving one’s sense of self when dating:
- Understanding your preferences and what important to you Being willing to ask for what you want
- Spend time with family and friends.
- Keep working towards your individual goals.
- Think about your principles.
- Make time for your interests and hobbies.
- Do not be frightened to refuse.
- Don’t minimise or hide yourself to appease others.
The secret to creating a strong, interdependent relationship is giving your spouse the space and freedom to pursue these same things. The building of a secure environment for both parties to learn how to turn towards each other intimately without fear of losing themselves or being controlled or manipulated can be facilitated by beginning your relationship in this manner How to Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence.
A Word From WinAspire
Spend some time thinking about your most significant connections and who you are and what you want from them. By keeping this in mind while dating, you can be sure that your union will be stronger and more stable in the long run. It’s never too late to assess your values and those of your partner if you’re already in a relationship to make sure you stay in sync.