How to Be Less Insecure

Negative ideas called insecurities can make you question your own abilities. According to Dr. Romanoff, they can occur in a variety of contexts, including your relationships, your job, your body image, or your capacity for navigating social circumstances.

The American Psychological Association asserts that insecurities can make it difficult for you to establish healthy relationships, trust other people, have confidence in your talents, and pursue your goals. If you’re worried, hesitant, or uneasy all the time, it can be difficult to be yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin.

Insecurity is a difficult feeling to live with because it can cause you to feel unsure of yourself and constantly question your worth.

— SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD

Insecurity

According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, feeling insecure is feeling inadequate or unworthy.

Characteristics of Insecurity

Dr. Romanoff claims that these are some traits that distinguish insecure persons from those who are more secure.

Insecure People

• Feeling insufficient
• Constantly having self-confidence issues
• Being self-conscious
• Inquiring about your relationships
• Being concerned that people would reject you
• Being uncomfortable in social situations
• Rruminating over your failings
• Excessive sensitivity to criticism
• You don’t believe you can handle challenging circumstances
• Not wanting to take any chances, either personally or professionally

Secure People

• Feeling assured
• Having a positive view of oneself
• Relying on your intuition
• Having dependable relationships
• Not relying on the approval of others
• Being at ease in social situations
• Embracing your body and self
• Accepting criticism that is constructive
• Believing in your capacity to overcome obstacles
• Not being frightened to pursue your goals

Potential Causes of Insecurity

According to Dr. Romanoff, some possible reasons for insecurity include these:

• Traumatic experiences during childhood: such as being bullied, mistreated, ignored, or assaulted by caretakers, might leave you feeling inadequate. You could start to lose confidence in yourself and experience insecurities as a result since you don’t think you deserve the affection or support of others.
• Poorly treated by friends: family, coworkers, or love partners might make it difficult for you to trust others. This can happen in partnerships. Even worse, it may make it challenging for you to believe your gut feeling regarding the reliability of other people.
• Setbacks: Suffering a significant setback, like a divorce, breakup, or job loss, can have a negative impact on your self-esteem and confidence, leaving you feeling uncertain.
• Outward focus: We are frequently instructed to place a higher value on external traits like accolades, medals, and trophies than internal traits like diligence and commitment. Because you are dependent on other people’s approval to feel comfortable, this emphasis on extrinsic motivators can make it challenging for you to establish a strong sense of your own self-worth.
• Factors of a social and cultural nature: Society frequently idealises lifestyles and unachievable ideals of beauty. You might experience self-confidence issues if you evaluate yourself against these arbitrary standards.

Effects of Being Insecure

Dr. Romanoff explains how insecurity can have a detrimental effect on a variety of various aspects of your life below.

Relationship Difficulties

You can start to distrust your connections and wonder how you’re perceived by others if you’re uneasy. You might believe that people don’t want to be around you or worry that they’ll leave you.

Because they can make you act in ways that drive people away, these anxieties have the potential to become self-fulfilling prophecies that result in failed friendships and romantic relationships. For instance, continually questioning your partner, keeping tabs on them, or believing they are disloyal to you might result in arguments and the breakup of your relationship.

Career-Related Difficulties

When it comes to your professional life, being insecure can make you more unsure of yourself and less willing to take chances. As a result, you might choose to play it safe and refrain from seizing opportunities.

You may be more sensitive to criticism due to your fears, which makes it challenging for you to take constructive criticism. As a result, you can find it harder to advance in your profession because you’re more likely to focus on your flaws than on how you can get better.

A lack of confidence can sometimes be detrimental. Being confident at work is crucial because other people will believe what you project. If you think you’re capable, intelligent, and competent, You have a considerably higher chance of being believed by others. You are more likely to appear genuine, create memorable first impressions, and overcome obstacles if you exude confidence.

Mental Health Issues

According to research, having an insecure personality is associated with a number of mental health conditions, including:

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Three eating problems
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder is one of four personality disorders (OCD)
• Abuse of drugs and addiction
• There are five types of PTSD (PTSD)
• Dangerous sexual behaviour
• Suicidal ideas and actions
• Hoarding

How to Be Less Insecure

Dr. Romanoff offers the following advice on how to feel more assured and less insecure:

• Find your triggers: Start observing the kinds of circumstances that make you feel insecure and make note of how you respond to them. To help you become more self-aware and keep track of the things you need to improve on, it could be useful to write them down in a journal.
• Encourage positive self-talk: It’s critical to begin fighting the inner voice that is sowing doubts in your mind as you grow more conscious of it. Say to yourself, “I’m going to dance because I love dancing and the only thing I care about is having fun,” if the voice is telling you, “Don’t try to dance because you’re a terrible dancer and everyone will laugh at you.”
• Concentrate on your advantages: People who lack confidence frequently hold a bias towards everything they think they are unable to perform. Instead, concentrate on the things you excel at and the areas where you would like to make further progress.
• Channel your confidence: Try to recall instances in your life in which you felt assured and adopt that attitude. Consider a period when you felt proud of yourself, for instance (for example, when you made a great presentation, gave an important speech, or managed a difficult conversation). Remain in that mindset and see how your mental processes and demeanour also convey assurance.
• Stop avoiding uncomfortable situations: and start facing them. Become accustomed to being uncomfortable. Be willing to face the unknown and start leaning into the things that frighten you. Make a commitment to doing something each day that challenges you to advance and fortify yourself.
• A mental health expert: who can help you overcome your worries and anxiety may be beneficial if your insecurities are interfering with your relationships or preventing you from reaching your full potential in life.

Being insecure may be a horrible sensation since it can drive you to question your abilities, connections, relationships with others, and objectives. It may stop you from going after your goals and nudge you in the direction of undesirable behaviour. Working on your insecurities will help you start living the life you desire.